Why does this always happen to me?

Because you repeatedly perform the same ridiculous behaviors which promote this result. (See: "Definition of Insanity")

Why me?

Because God has singled you out for his purpose.

Who died and made you King?

Clearly, the former King.

Will it ever end?

Probably not. If and when it does, we will know, but you won't, and that's why you ask.

Who do you think you are?

Depending on who you ask, the answers to this question are too expansive to list here. However, the person in question probably thinks they are themselves unless they are Paranoid Schizophrenics in which case the answer might vary wildly.

What does it all mean?

It is all meaningless, unless you subscribe to an organized religion, cult, or organization, all of which have rule books.

How did I get here?

You made a series of choices and actions which if traced in reverse, will show you precisely how you got where ever it is you are. Caveat: We do not suggest performing a trace to everyone. For some, it can lead to stress, anguish, and angst.

Where are my keys?

Close your eyes and visualize the last place you saw them. Then walk imaginatively from there. It might help if you extend your hands and arms as if you were sleepwalking.

Is it me? Or is it hot in here?

It is you. You are very ill. Seek medical attention immediately. (Or, it is hot in there.)

How did I get into this?

You volunteered. Go to sleep.

Who are these people?

They are the other people who are right now asking who you are.

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