THE YEETLE BOX CORRESPONDENT

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SCHOOL DAZE

In January of this year, Doug Anglin, 17, filed a formal complaint with the U.S. Department of Education against Milton (Mass.) High School. The young man said the school discriminates against boys by giving better grades to students who "sit down, follow orders and listen to what (teachers and administrators) say."

"Men," Anglin told a Boston Globe reporter, "naturally rebel against this."

The head of the Jo Richardson comprehensive school in Dagenham, England, prohibits students from raising their hands in class, according to a January Daily Telegraph report, to keep those not called on from feeling ''victimi[zed].''

Chicago schools in crisis: (1) In February, a sixth-grader at Waldo Middle School was suspended and charged with a felony by Aurora, Ill., police when he brought powdered sugar to class for a science project and jokingly told another student that it was cocaine. A custodian overheard the conversation and reported him. (2) The Chicago Tribune reported in March that dozens of blind students in Chicago public schools are nonetheless required to take driver education classes. One sightless but otherwise optimistic student told the Tribune she resented the requirement because it made her uncharacteristically dwell on something that she cannot do.

Our take? Well, how do we expect young people to receive the education they deserve if they are asked to do things they cannot do? Consider Doug, a victim of blatant discrimination. Doug prefers to stand up and ignore what others say to him during his school day. Surely a reasonable accommodation exists for Doug. Perhaps the school should consider providing Doug with an X-Box and his choice of games to play - with earphones, of course. Then Doug would get the education he deserves while doing what comes natural to all men at the age of seventeen.

And what's wrong with a sixth-grader who shows a clear interest in science AND social science? "Sixth-graders," said Doug Anglin, 17, naturally trick their fellow students into believing sugar is cocaine. Give the kid a break! Geez!"

Finally, who can argue that blind students should take driver's education? Have our school administrators gone mad? The student is BLIND, sightless, without sight, UNABLE TO SEE! "Those blind kids," said Doug Anglin, 17, "can't see. What's their problem? They can't even play an X-box game. Geez! I mean, would you force a deaf kid to take music class?"

What's the real kicker in all of this? Doug is a born leader: deaf, blind, and dumb. And he sure plays a mean pinball.

Give our kids the education they want, and they will get the education they deserve.

And that's our take.

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