Friday November 6 7:23 PM ET

House Speaker Gingrich's Real Thoughts

By The DisAssociated Press

The actual thoughts going through Newt's head while delivering the text of a statement released Friday night:

"Today I have reached a difficult personal decision: I WILL NEVER CUT MY HAIR!!! I will not be a candidate for speaker of the 106th Congress WITHOUT MY HAIR!!! The Republican conference needs to be unified, BUT MY HAIR STAYS!!! It is time for me to move forward, where I believe I still have a significant role to play for our country and THE WHIG party. . . as the NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!! THE WHIG PARTY will have my full support, and THE WHIG PARTY will do all IT can to help ME win in 2000--UNLIKE YOU LOSERS!!!

I urge my colleagues (LOSERS!!!) to pick leaders WITH REALLY, REALLY BIG HAIR, who can both reconcile and discipline, who can work together and communicate effectively--LEADERS WHO CAN LEAD, WHO CAN LEAD FOLLOWERS, WHO CAN PLAY FOLLOW THE LEADER!!! They have my prayers and my thoughts--and my office--BUT THEY WILL NOT HAVE MY HAIR!!!

I want to thank everyone whose friendship and support has made these years enjoyable: but most of all, DON KING AND WILLIAM MURRAY!!!

Marianne and I are grateful to the HAIR STYLISTS of Georgia, who gave us the wonderful opportunity to DISPLAY THEIR UNIQUE TALENTS, and to my Republican colleagues (LOSERS!!!), who became our extended family. I THINK OF YOU AS IN-LAWS WHO STAY WELL BEYOND YOUR WELCOME!!!

THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY!!!

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