"I've Got A Hankering For Gonads"

 

Something to hanker over. Mountain oysters!

You probably thought you would never hear that sentence uttered. Ever. But it was at Virginia City, Nevada's 16th annual Mountain Oyster Fry. This extraordinary event, takes place at the Bucket of Blood Saloon Parking Lot in the middle of town. This means the citizens of Virginia City have done this 15 times before.

A few hundred people formed long lines March 17 and consumed about 130 pounds of sheep testicles in two hours. This equates to more than 4,000 sheep gonads, or  32 gonads per person. Some local residents refer to this as the "Testicle Festival." Others call it "The Gonad Munch." Still others just call it breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

On a dare, Joe Gallagher of Des Moines, Iowa, was determined to try some fried oysters.

 

"There's no way I'm backing down," he said. "I've got a hankering for gonads.""I got a hankering for some sheep gonads!"

Amanda Palmer, 21, of Carson City, Nev., another gonad lover, stated,  "I adore sheep testicles. People think, 'Oh sheep testicles, gross,' but it was pretty good. I mean, they're just testicles."

Amanda should know who is known for her large consumption of testicles.

"We try to get families from all over to try them, but they're all `nuh-uh,'" said Shauna Reese, 32, of Reno. "It's just another tender meat."

Shauna knows even more than Amanda, who broke Amanda's testicle consumption record just a few weeks before the festival.

The "mountain oysters," as they are known, can be fried, barbecued, stuffed, ground up and sauteed.

The tradition of preparing sheep testicles for human consumption hails back to Nevada's early days and the Basque sheep herder, said Kristin Hamlet, the town's event coordinator. "Sheepherding is a subtle art which rests upon a delicate understanding between man, dogs, and the sheep band," said Ms. Hamlet. "But we would never eat dog gonads!"

Of course, eating sheep gonads is not all the festival has to offer. In addition, the festival offers The Gonad - Spoon Races, Three - Legged Gonad Races, Gonad Juggling, Gonad Painting (similar to Face Painting, but with a difference), and The Parade of Gonads - 10,000 castrated sheep parading down Main Street.

At night, the locals don their sheepskin and form a circle around a fire to chant William Blake's classic poem "The Lamb."

Little Lamb, who made thee? Castrated sheep talking to each other.
Dost thou know who made thee?
Gave thee life, and bid thee feed,
By the stream and o'er the mead;
Gave thee clothing of delight,
Softest clothing, woolly, bright;
Gave thee such a tender voice,
Making all the vales rejoice?
Little Lamb, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?


Little Lamb, I'll tell thee,
Little Lamb, I'll tell thee.
He is called by thy name,
For He calls Himself a Lamb.
He is meek, and He is mild;
He became a little child.
I a child, and thou a lamb,
We are called by His name.
Little Lamb, God bless thee!
Little Lamb, God bless thee!

 

You got balls?

I got nothin'.

Then off to Reno's gambling resorts and prostitutes where the "hankerings" are less interesting.


In a related story, Nevada's residents voted against the use of medicinal marijuana for patients with chronic pain.

 


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